Bits of sleep.

Here I am on one of the biggest days of my life. I can't sleep. I did better than I thought last night. At least I got a few hours. Most of the night was spent thinking about getting through today. How it will go. Will everything work out OK. Just like every other mother in the world who knows they are going to have a baby. Inducing is horrible. It is like a looming hatchet coming right at your- well, you know. At least with Veda I was just "in" labor all of the sudden and had no time to ponder what may happen tomorrow.

It will be OK.

I have been trying to talk myself into being OK with this induction. Well, it hasn't worked. The only good thing is that Soren will be here today. The unnaturalness (is that a word?) just doesn't feel right.

(I have to be honest and say that I am freaked out. I don't remember ever being this freaked out by something. I guess, just because I have no control over this and I have to do it- no matter what. He has to come out. You see, if I put all of this is parentheses I am not REALLY saying it- just thinking it and it doesn't count.)

Wish me luck.