So I just cried...

Yesterday I went to the store found the smallest package of organic chicken I could find and brought it home. I then proceed to pace around the kitchen for about an hour. Finally I took out a cutting board and cut up the chicken. I decided that fajitas would be best as I could hide it in my guacamole. I cooked the chicken on the stove and covered it in spices. The whole time I kept telling myself this was the best for both of us.

Jeff got home and dinner went to the table. He could feel the tension that was running through me and offered some support. I snapped at him and just said "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to get it over with!" Then we sat at the table. Jeff and Veda ate their fajitas and I made mine. Then I just sat there looking at it and cried. I just couldn't do it. I sat there for probably 45 minutes. Veda actually went to bed with me still sitting at the table. I felt like a 5 year old not wanting to eat my veggies. Ironic.

I quickly got up and ate a protein bar and made a protein shake with milk. Ugh. Jeff made the comment "I just don't want you to regret this if something is wrong with him." WOW! That was a lot of pressure. So I sit here sick to my stomach (mostly because I have already had 60 grams of protein today- daily requirement for pregnant women is 71 grams) not knowing what to do. I think I will have my OB/GYN take my blood on Wednesday again and see if I was able to make any progress in my levels. I also bought Calcium and B-12 this am hoping that would help.

Oh, I took Veda to the ER this am. She told me that she could not hear out of her left ear. We were there for 10-15 minutes! A very quick visit- the ER Doctor happened to be the Medical Director of the Hospice I work at so he just followed us into our room when we got there. Nice to know people. Needless to say she has an ear infection. "That ear is angry. Very, very angry" (in his Indian accent). Amoxicillin here we come! Again. I swear I should buy stock.

Still meat free...