Random thoughts (really needing to just get stuff off of my chest....)

Sunday, April 30, 2006


Here it is. The day I have worked toward for about 4 years. I graduate today. My mom and dad are here as well as J and V. They are all coming to my ceremony. Then J has planned a get together and my friend JM's house tonight. I am so thankful to my family and friends. Without them I would not have gotten this far. I am amazed that I am finished.

Work is going well. I think that I will be cut free tomorrow and given my own patients. Excited to actually get going.

V has her dance performances this coming weekend. Lots of time running and doing that.

A few of our friends are going to get a divorce. Sucks. This is one of J's best friends and I have grown to really like them as a couple. Bummer.

Thinking of my friends A and S as they go through yet another loss. I can hardly believe they have had so much grief this year.

I am starting to become okay with working full time. It's not bad since J is home most of the time with V. Otherwise I would not be okay with it at all. He is teaching her how to play base/soft ball. She is loving it!

The new carpet is in and we have met with the builder regarding the hot tub room!! That will be a good thing.

Congrats to all of my fellow classmates!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Hospice Employee- Official

So I officially began at Hospice on Tuesday. I have been reading and reading about death and dying. I have to say that this will probably be a difficult but rewarding position for me. Since I have been there 5 people have died. That's more that one a day. So I will have to find a way to cope with this. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! I thought of one thing I will do... get a jar and each time one of my patients dies I will write there name on a piece of paper and put it in my remembrance jar. This way I will have a "place" to put some of my thoughts.

V is bi-polar I swear. This is our new (okay it's not new but it's old and annoying and I would like some assistance with this as well) dilemma. She goes from hugging me to telling me I am mean because she can't wear flip flops to school. J and I are seeking guidance.

I graduate in 10 days. Oh thank goodness. SH I know you are feeling the same way I am.

Went to my mom and dad's lake house last weekend. Oh how I love that place. So glad that J and I are getting married there.

I'll be better about blogging more. I have just had to adjust my schedule a bit due to this crap thing called work.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Haven't had much to say lately. Sorry. Not like you are sitting here checking and re-checking my blog spot. I have only 2 classes left until I am finished with my graduate degree. I walk on April 30th!! I can hardly believe that this is it. Finished. No more school. What a relief.

V is being bi-polar this week. She is either wonderful or a PAIN! But it will work itself out. I hope. J is even having a time with her. She is back to school today so that may help. Back to the regular routine but this time her dad is there instead of her mom. I am working at the hospital again this week. I start Hospice next Tuesday. I am excited but nervous.

J and I are having waves. I am sure it is just me. I tend to be a bit much at times. But if you know me you already know that. But I think I am on his nerves. Things are ok just working some kinks out. At least that's how I tend to see it. I made this "grumpy book" a few weeks back. Basically all it is is a binder dedicated to us. We are to go and write in it to just let things go. Well, neither of us have used it. Until today.... I still haven't read it yet but it is on the counter next to me now. I will do that next. I thought this would be a good way for us to let the other partner know what is up instead of holding a grudge all week. We'll see. Of course, he was the first to use it.

J's mom is in the hospital- as of yesterday. She is supposedly doing fine- just has some infection in her leg. J's sister got new horses! This is a great thing. They had a barn fire in October, 2005 and lost all 4 of their horses. V loves horses so we are going to go out and welcome them home on Monday.

We are going to my parents house this weekend for Easter. I am excited to see them. J has to work. That stinks. The life of a RN I guess.

I am missing a few of my friends a lot. Adjusting to working and being apart. Kisses to my special girls.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Working Blues...

So it hit me today... and boy did I have a good cry. I came home from work and realized that no longer am I a "most-of-the-time-I'm-home-except-for-the-occasional-work/intern/class-days". Now I work full time. I walked into my fiance cleaning and my daughter wanting to use her easy bake oven with him. Of course I cried, I can't do these things anymore. I sure hope this will get easier for me. Summer is going to really suck b/c they are going to be doing lots of fun things together while I work. I am going to miss so many things. All of the songs I won't hear, the silly play date feuds- ugh. My heart aches. I wish I could figure this all out. I didn't go to get my MSW just to be at home. Did I?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Almost forgot..

Public schools it is.

We're not in Kansas anymore...

Did any one happen to see the sky in mid-Michigan last night? This lovely green sky came about around 7:00 just as J and I were driving to another town to meet with some friends. Yes, driving away from my daughter, V. I can not tell you how horrible that was. I called a friend H who lives in the neighborhood where V was staying and told her to call me if something happened. (I didn't want to call V's friends mom because she would think I was a nut.) So a few minutes later- she called and told me the sirens in town were going off and they were going to the basement. So I immediately made her go upstairs in this weather (risking being a cast member in the new Wizard of Oz) and made her get me the number where V was. I called and told them that they should be in the basement. Thank goodness I did because they weren't. After a few beers my chest stopped constricting and I was ok- the weather cleared. I hate being a mother. It completely stresses me out. Really- I am so thankful to be a mother I just hate that I can't guarantee her safety.

So J did this really cool thing for me. I think he really loves me!! He sent me an email and has decided to tell me year by year certain important events in his life. How cool is that. I learned his birth minute, who his godmother is, etc. This email was birth to age 3. Age four will be much more detail I am sure since his memories begin there- and that was when he had his heart surgery. So it is the best pre-wedding gift ever!

Also I went shopping yesterday with a girlfriend and found a dress. I really love it! I am going to have to lose a bit and tone a lot but I think it will be worth it! Color may be an issue though... But it's second wedding and J will love me no matter what. His family may pass out. We'll see. I'd tell you more about it but I don't know if J reads this or not so if you do J- not a chance I am not telling you a thing!!

Finishing up with school work. Grant is due on Wednesday. Ba hum bug. It will get done though.